as if the sky had blown
by Architectoftheuniverse
Summary: chapter for a friend


The pizza party is the first time Ray realizes something is wrong. Not wrong in the way that someone is betraying them, no, but the Gents are acting differently. Jack is on edge constantly, and so is Geoff. A couple times when he's alone with them he wants to ask whats up, but never gains the courage.

However, at the pizza party is when he really starts paying attention. When Jack is passing out the pizza, he hovers over their shoulder longer then he has to. Geoff spends most of the time glancing at Gavin's leg regretfully when he thinks they aren't looking, and Ryan's acting weird on principle. He spends a good amount of time staring at Geoff with a look of disappointment.

He voices his concerns to Michael quietly. "Hey, have you noticed anything off with the others lately?"

Michael shakes his head and laughs. He's probably drunk by now. "Nah, Geoff's probably just feeling guilty over Gavin's stupid ankle. They do this every time someone goes after you two, haven't you noticed?"

Ray has noticed it. He doesn't get why they get so worked up over it, after all, the string of mysterious deaths has started becoming enough of a deterrent for people to _leave him the hell alone. _They haven't caught on with Gavin yet though.

He's also noticed that Michael isn't as immune to the worry then he would like to think. He's got his own concerns, he just hides them better.

Michael says something funny, or probably funny, due to the fact he breaks into laughter. Ray, who hasn't been paying attention at all, laughs anyway.

Something big is up, and he doesn't know what it is. He hates it when that happens.

"Goddamnit, someone drank the last Coke." Ray grumbles, bending down to rifle through the fridge and see if one had rolled into the back.

"Oops." Gavin calls guiltily, knowing him he's faking it. "Didn't know it was the last one, sorry X-Ray."

"It's fine." He says flippantly, heading down to the basement to grab some of the Coke down there. Besides, it's a good time to get some privacy. Something about the heist is itching at him, but he's reassuring himself he's just being paranoid. However, right before, the nerves were catching up to him.

He ends up spending over twenty minutes in the basement just breathing, and calming down the shaking in his hands. He won't be sniping this time, but he can't afford to be a bad shot overall just because he's _nervous._ How funny would that be? X-Ray, the legendary sniper, bringing his entire crew down because he couldn't shoot well enough.

Okay, so maybe that wouldn't be funny at all. Whatever. He's always been one for irony.

It all starts to go to shit right around the time Geoff dies. It hurts to think about. Geoff is dead? Dead. Gone. Bled out. Murdered. Shot. Dying in fucking _agony _well Ray sat there and _did nothing-_

Over the radio, everyone panics. Gavin is practically shrieking Geoff's name, and Ryan chokes out "Don't leave us now. Not after everything." But they can't do anything. They're all too far away, stationed too far apart in their robberies.

_It's Jack's fault. He was the one who organized this. He knew we were being stretched thin. _Ray's mind tells him, but he shakes it off. No one is at fault here.

"Get those engagement rings for me, will you Ryan?" Geoff chokes, his voice thick with blood. There's a familiar sound of a gunshot and Geoff's microphone cuts off into static.

"Did the fucking clerk just pull a gun on him?" Michael asks hysterically, but no one answers.

The mics are eeriely quiet. Gavin is giving off no sound at all, signaling he's turned his microphone off. Ryan's microphone is picking up the sound of gunshots and nothing else. There's a clatter from Michael's end, and then muffled screams of anger, like he'd set his microphone down so he wouldn't deafen everyone with his grief.

Ray hunches over and lets a few tears trail down his cheeks as he drives. They still have a heist to deal with, and police on their asses. They don't even have the time to get his body.

The silence doesn't last long, Gavin finally switching his microphone back on and muttering, "...engagement rings?"

Ray feels his breath hitch. None of them had been paying attention at the time, he's glad Gavin caught it. But now he has to think about the fact that Geoff was either planning on leaving them or proposing and that...he can't take that right now.

Ryan finally speaks up. His voice is dull, very carefully drained of all emotion. "Yeah. For almost a year now, Geoff's been wanting to ask us to marry him. Nice and casual, even if it could never be official. He was going to do it earlier this week and celebrate over the heist, but then Gavin and Ray's accident in the alley delayed that."

Ray chokes audibly, and he can distantly hear Jack's concerned, "You okay Ray?" it's a stupid question.

It's his fault. If he hadn't insisted on going down the alley that night, Gavin wouldn't have gotten hurt and Geoff would have proposed and even if he still died they would have been happy instead of nervous the week beforehand. Maybe even then Geoff would have been careful and killed the clerk and _fuck it's all his fault._

"He never could find the right rings. I think he was planning on just using pizza." Ryan continues(he sounds so cold and distant), and that's all Ray can take. Everything is sort of fuzzy for a minute. He can barely see the road through his tears as he rages through his self hatred and guilt. Because he's not paying attention, he takes a wrong turn and ends up on Eiker Street. By the time he's rubbing his tears away with one hand, near Power Street and paying attention again, they've moved on with the heist. Determined to finish it and make Geoff proud, in a way.

He wants to tell them to stop and just _drive _because he's not losing anyone else tonight. This is the part where Jack lands the jet on the highway. A plan Ray had hated from the start, but there was no helping it now. He feels a cold chill when Jack asks for a landing, because his wrong turn has led him to the wrong end of Power Street.

He's too far away from the plane to make it, with pretty much the whole police force after them. It doesn't help that Jack misjudges and lands farther up the road, zipping over his head and leaving Ray picking off the police around the others well running in the desperate hope that he'll be able to make it.

Deep down, he knows he won't get to the plane. Besides, he doesn't deserve it, considering its his fault that Geoff is dead. Sort of. He blames himself for it anyway.

"I'm not gonna make it!" Michael shouts, spinning around to take out a few of the police attempting to catch Gavin before he makes it in the jet. A bullet crashes too far to his head and shatters his microphone, he doesn't even feel muddy, fuzzy, slow. He can't even think of the right description, he's so confused and high on adrenaline.

The one thing he does know is he has to choose right here who makes it to the plane. Michael and Gavin can't live without each other, and the Gents are already one down. He knows after this his boys will need all the support they can get. It's obvious that he's the one who won't get there.

Gavin pauses on the steps of the plane, casting his eyes around in the chaos for Ray. "Get in the plane, come on!" He shouts as soon as he spots him, and Ray hates to do this, but he has to. He makes eye contact with Gavin and gives a tiny shake of his head.

It occurs to Gavin too quickly whats happening, but all too late Michael is yanking him into the plane. He hears faintly, "I won't leave him behind! Michael please don't fucking leave him behind I'M NOT LOSING HIM-" And a heartbroken apology from Michael before he can no longer see them anymore.

Ryan looks back once. Right before he gets in the plane, a look of regret and sorrow when he realizes Ray isn't coming with. And then Ryan is gone.

His boys are safe. He liked to consider himself selfish, but that is all he ever needs to know.

He barely has time to watch the hectic takeoff and know they're in the air. After that, his only focus is the police that are still around him.

Of course, that's when he runs out of ammo. He kicks his gun away in frustration and immediately, he's surrounded. Rows and rows of police officers, bristling and angry. It's a fucking miracle that they don't notice his hand creeping towards his pocket.

"PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR AND TURN AROUND!" One of them orders.

Watching the tailfin of the plane vanish around a skyscraper wistfully, he thinks about how he's always joked about going out with a bang. Irony 'till the end.

"PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR AND TURN AROUND OR WE WILL SHOOT."

Ray does exactly that.

He pulls the pin out of his last grenade and drops it with a smile.


End file.
